The path of a Mother in Priestess training

Wow. This is hard. As a mother, I want to fix problems for my children - whether they are adults or not. But as I have learned over the last several years - that is not my place in the universe. There are lessons that they must experience and solutions that they must find. It had always gone against my protective nature to allow this to happen.

I find myself, more and more, drawing upon my faith and my experience in the Avalonian Tradition to guide me through counseling my children on the issues they face in life. I no longer react as the mother wolf and jump in to fix it. Instead, I let that initial knee-jerk reaction flow through me. I acknowledge it and am thankful for those emotions, but it does not rule me any longer. I am now finding myself pausing for a breath, reaching for my mantle and seeking the sovereign woman within to provide the counsel that my family seeks. The counsel that guides them to create their own solutions.

I feel so much more empowered as a woman in taking this approach. You wouldn't think that would happen. One would think that by giving up the need to take control, you would feel helpless. Instead, I feel fortunate. I am fortunate to stand back and let my children BE Empowered. After all, it was never my control to have.

A Precious Gift

Our yard is often filled with wildlife. Although I have yet to see a deer in our yard, we have seen many a rabbit, squirrel, fox, groundhog, chipmonk, hawk, songbird, starling, raven and occasional coyote. The deer are around as well, I've just never seen one in the yard.

It's not uncommon to witness new additions to these wildlife families either. We see baby squirrels playing all round the house each year, as well as many, many baby rabbits. We can sit and watch them play for hours...me and the cat in the window. Night-y dreams of one day encountering those fast little fur-balls face to face, but alas, he was front declawed (for a face and eye touching fettish) and will not experience the outdoors unless it's in a cat carrier or he sneaks past me (only to be caught within seconds but that's a story for another blog).

Now Pearl, on the other hand, is an inside-outside cat. Unfortunately, she usually gives me the opportunity to see these young (and sometimes adult) critters first hand - as an offering from the huntress on the porch. :-/ Instincts win - even when the food bowl is full. Her hunting ability has caused me to cradle more infant wildlife as they take their last breath (or me trying to give them another breath) than I care to list. She apparently has a job and does it well.

Until last night, I hadn't interacted with a healthy baby bunny. This one was adorable! We watched it playing around our spruce tree as the mother wondered about - anywhere from 3-25 feet away. Of course, I grabbed the camera and started looking for a shot. There wasn't one from inside the house, so I quietly opened the patio door and went outside. The mother saw me and didn't seem to mind. I took some shots that were still just too far away so I decided to try and get a little closer so that I could zoom in on the little buggar. I started slowly walking towards the area I last saw him/her in and as the mother went under the tree, I spotted him playing in the grass, looking right at me.

I started to take a picture and the little guy either wanted to pose for the camera, or just got tuckered out. He actually let me pet the top of his head and didn't mind at all. He was absolutely adorable. I took a couple of shots that were blurry, but one did come out pretty well. Once he got back up to play, he went in under the tree and it was too dark to capture him again.

I sent the baby and mother reiki and some protection (Pearl!) and hope to see them and get more shots again soon.

I am taking the me course and passing - I hope.

Don't psycho-analyze yourself so much!
What?
What else would a Saggittarius woman do? That's my job. I do it well. Piss off.

I appreciate the words that come from a loving place that does not want me to judge myself harshly, but seriously - how else will I grow into my authentic self? If I don't stop and take stock of where I am, how the hell will I know where I am going?

So, this is what I do. I analyze. I sit with myself and determine who I am so that I can imagine who I will be....

And so the story goes....